This is a marvellous thread, I have sat here laughing out loud. I cannot contribute a great deal unfortunately.
I think Metpersons must have been uptight, because I never ever heard of any misadventures at work, although crappers were often a L O N G way away. The bases which gave me most anxiety regarding notice/timing were Nicosia [a thunderbox 100 yards away on the bondhu], Acklington and Finningley [before we moved into the Air Electronics building].
Dry Farting was a different matter of course ........ in airfield Met Offices the convention was to fart only in the teleprinter/ comms room rather than the workplace. In headquarters units the rule was that one could gruff in one's own office or the corridors, but not in anyone else's office.
JHQ was interesting in that one had to decide if one had time to be an officer. The airmen's bog was handy but very nasty, the nearest officers' one was quite a hike.