I especially liked..
The penultimate sentence...
"In exchange for putting their lives on the line when necessary for the security of the country, or in the protection of civilians of other countries in pursuit of the UN Responsibility to Protect, the State undertakes to respect and look after injured service personnel giving them decent living standards, whether serving or not serving due to their injury, and to their dependents in the event of their being killed."
Oh thank you, Ms whateveryournameis, am I supposed to feel valued with such a firm offer of 'being looked after'!
As for the final sentence...
"All serving personnel will be required to sign a pledge that they will not obey any order which would entail any breach of international law. In particular they will be able to disobey any order that required them to fire on unarmed civilians of their own or any other country."
I don't even know where to start in dismantling that; I'm sure my Oath of Allegiance (taken many moons ago now) carries more weight than a signed 'pledge'! How about you as the Politician (who would be the one sending my and my ilke off to finish your dirty work) make 'a pledge' to not make such a mess that you need to resort to the military. Oh why am I bothering, I'll just raise my blood pressure....