A broad Lancashire voice from the back of the room was then heard to say, "Ast got f***ing" news for thee lad"!!
Ops called us out at short notice to fly an Admiral from Northolt to Lossiemouth (HMS Fulmar), to carry out an annual inspection after his "admiral's barge" went u/s.
Several HM Customs Officers lived in the Officers at Lyneham and mixed well with aircrew in the bar; unfortunately the friendly relationship broke down after several sneaky rummages and the throwing of the book at a Shackleton crew when they arrived from Gibraltar with a few extra (fake) watches!
We arrived at HMS Fulmar and were marshalled to a position in front of an impressive parade fronted by a RN Captain.
Five minutes later the AQM burst into the flight deck and said, "the bloody door has jammed, can somebody help me?"
Our Flt Lt navigator, an amusing and well built Yorkshireman with the initials P.S volunteered to help.
After a struggle they managed to force the main door open. P.S looked down at the scrambled egged, be-medalled Captain waiting at the bottom of the steps and exclaimed in a loud Yorkshire voice, "f**king hell, customs!"