Hell, if y'all think "Yank" sounds funny, y'all need to hear what they speak down in Texas...a bud of mine sent this to me before I moved to San Antonio...
Cheers! M2
The Texas Dictionary of the English Language
yawl---the pronoun of the second person plural. "Good to see yawl."
ward---a unit of language consisting of one or more spoken sounds. "Pardon me, could ah have a ward with yawl?"
lahr---a prevaricator; one who tells lies. "Are yew callin' me a lahr?"
watt---the lightest of colors. "Yew look watt as a sheet."
riot--- correct or proper. "That's jes as riot as rain."
often---so as to be no longer supported or attached. "Now stan still so ah can shoot that apple often yore had."
barley---only, just, no more than. "Ah can jes barley open mah eyes."
pour---having little or no means of support. "Them folks is downriot pour."
blond---without sight. "Love is blond."
lacked---was on the verge of or cam close to. "Ah lacked to died laughlin'."
main---of ugly disposition, nasty. "That there is one main man."
felons---a substance used to close the cavities in teeth. "When ah open mah mouth real wad yawl can see mah two felons."
thowed---to cause someone or something to go someplace as if by hurling. "Ah'm gonna have yawl thowed in jail!"
rum---a portion of space within a building. "Ah got to go to the restrum."
cheer---in this place or spot. "Yawl come riot cheer this minute!"
lard---the deity. "Lard only knows what happened."
beggar---larger as in size, height, width, amount, etc. "The beggar they come the harder they fall!"
thang---a material object without life or consciousness. "That don't main a thang."
prior---a devout petition to an object of worship. "Don't never say a prior with your hat on."
suede---dear, beloved, precious. "Ain't that jes too suede for wards?"
larry---wary, suspicious. "Ah would be larry of that if ah was yew."
prod---a high opinion of one's own dignity, importance, etc. "Ah take prod in mah work."
far---to discharge a firearm. "Stop or ah'm gonna far!"
tarred---exhausted. "Boy, am ah tarred!"
they---the objective and dative case of thou. "Mah country tis of they, suede land of liberty, of they ah sang..."
hem---objective case of he. "Ah drawed mah gun on hem."
owe---an overwhelming feeling of reverence, admiration, fear, etc. "That there is one thang ah stand in owe of."
thote---the passage in the neck from the mouth to the stomach. "Ah got a sore thote."
sighting---arousing or stirring up emotions. "That was one beg, sighting card game."
heidi---an expression of greeting. "Heidi, neighbor!"
sect---afflicted with ill health or disease. "Ah feel sect to mah stomach."
small---to assume a facial expression indicating pleasure. "Small and the whole world smalls with yew."
consarned---interested or participating. "Yawl ain't consarned in this no way!"
harket---going to the barber. "Mah hat never fits after ah get a harket."
drank---any liquid taken into the mouth and swallowed. "How 'bout a lil drank?"
squire---honest and above board. "Everythang here is fire and squire."
ails---other than the person or things implied. "Ah only done what anybody ails would do."
fair---a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, etc. "The only thang we have to fair is fair itsef."
tom---any specific point in a day, a month, a year. "How come yawl ain't never on tom?"
air---the organ of hearing in man. "Ah got an airache."
truss---reliance on integrity. "Don't yawl truss me?"
mere---a reflecting surface. "Ah jes hate to look at mahsef in the mere."
hep---to render assistance. "Ain't nobody gonna hep me?"
rang---to twist forcibly. "Ah'm gonna rang yore neck."
farfanger---the first finger next to the thumb. "Ah'm holdin' mah nose 'twixt mah thumb an farfanger."
Markin---a citizen of the United States. "ah am a Markin."
all---petroleum. "They found all on mah land!"
doll---the process used to operate a telephone. "Why that's a terrible mess of numbers to doll for a long distance call!"
wunst---one time and no more. "Call me that again, wunst more."
pawn---on top of; above. "Ah'm not gonna tell yew again to get off from pawn that table."
banes---large, smooth kidney shaped, edible seeds. "Ah could eat mah weight in pinto banes."
slave---the part of the garment covering an arm only. "Are yew sayin' mah left slave is shorter than mah riot?"
wuf---a large, doglike carnivorous mammal. "Who's afraid of the beg, bad wuf...?"
whalebarah---a small vehicle with handles and one wheel for conveying small loads. "Be careful! Don't let that whalebarah tump over."
node---past tense of "know." "Ah node ah shouldn't of bent over in these ol' britches."
paypal---a body of persons. "Where'd all them paypal come from?"
barred---(past tense), to receive with the expressed intention fo returning the same. "Who barred mah hat an' didn't brang it back?"
kaint---contraction for "can not." "Stop it! Yew kaint do it that way."
lane---to incline or bend from a vertical position. "All she did was lane her had on mah shoulder."
sep---to omit or bar. "Everyone can go in sep yew!"
coarse---a body of dancers and singers who execute special numbers. "Yore one of them coarse girls ain't yew?"
stars---a flight of steps. "If yawl thank ah'm gonna walk up all them stars yawl are crazy."
rueing---state of being destroyed, wrecked, etc. "Yawl are drivin' me to rack and rueing!"
lags---the limbs of man used for supporting the body. "That gal's lags look lack a stockin' full of rocks."
sacks---the character of being male or female. "Well, there's the male sacks an' then there's the female sacks..."
are---sixty minutes. "Ah'll meet yew there in about a are."
grain---a color. "He's jes grain with envy."
quahr---an organized company of singers. "Yes, mam, ah sang in the church quahr every Sunday."
lon---a large, carnivorous mammal of the cat family. "Yew tellin' me them Romans thowed the Christians to the lons!"
spell---to fall down. "Oooooeeeee! He sure took a nasty spell."
bean---a living person. "He's one of the finest human beans ah ever met."
ast---the past tense of the word,"ask." "Who ast yew!"
foured---the part of the face above the eyes. "The sweat's jes pourin' often mah foured."
stale---to take and carry away feloniously. "Thou shalt not stale..."
kwat---free from noise or disturbance. "Be kwat; yawl are makin' too much noise!"
tearse---a courtyard usually with trees and shrubs. " That thang yew call a tearse ain't nuthin' but a lil ol' patio."
favor---to run a temperature. " Ah thank ah got a favor."
sense---from a definite past time until now. "Ah kaint even doll the
telephone sense ah hurt mah fanger."
warsh---to cleanse by rubbing or scrubbing in water. "Pardon me, ah'm gonna warsh mah hands."
wrench---to wash lightly with water. "Can ah hep yew wrench off them dishes?"
bear---a ferment liquor brewed from malt and flavored with hops. "All ah had was one bottle of bear."
tempetour---the degree of hotness or coldness. "Boy, the tempetour must be about a hundred today."
libel---apt or likely to. "Don't never try to walk lack this or yore libel to bust a lag."
arn---a silver-white metallic element. "Mah muscle is as strong as arn."
mihyun---the number immediately following 999,999. "If ah told yew wunst ah told yew a mihyun toms."
error---the missile used with a bow. "Ah shot a error into the air, an' where it fell ah node not where..."
par---exerted energy, force, or might. "If yew can do that, more par to yew."
sar---having an acid or tart taste. "Boy, is that lemon ever sar!"
nekked---having on no clothes, nude. "...and there he was nekked as a jaybird."
tuther---being the one of two (or more). "Yew kaint have both; take one or the tuther."
card---a person who lacks courage. "Ah'm callin' yew a yella-bellied card!"
Ainglish---the language spoken in the United Kingdom and the United States. "What's the matter with yew, kaint yew understand the kang's Ainglish?"
thank---to have a judgment or opinion of. "Ah hope yawl enjoyed raidin' this dictionary. But jes thank of what yew must sound lack to a Texan!"