All good reads.
Have you tried:
"Yuvil Vin Frenz Und Influez Peepel...NOW" by a poetic East German author named S.P. Hilterschize.
Also a good read between breaths is:
"British Dentistry" Volumes 1-4 (1930 edition) by Karius Molar
"Modern British Management Techniques". Not sure who the author is as its a very difficult book to find. There is some who believe that is has never been written...conspiracists!