I think its easy to pick bad examples. It worked in Iraq during the 2nd battle for Ramadi and Fallujah when the Sunni militia got so sick of the repeated hammering from the US Marine Corps that they sued for peace with the more extreme elements, ending up turning on the real bad guys.
I cant think of a single example where modern ROE has contributed to the fight. We tried controlled restraint in Afghan and as far as I see, utterly failed. It failed in Basrah when brit forces, constrained by ROE, were unable to deal with the relatively large number of lawless militias, who ended up terrorising the locality. There is plenty of evidence that the vast majority of law abiding Iraqis in the locality would have loved to have seen said militia given a thoroughly vicious shoeing. Same in Amarah. Fiasco by thomas e Ricks makes interesting reading, as does Occupational Hazards by Rory Stewart.