The amber= at 230kt is displayed all the time when
1. flaps 0
2. below 20,000 ft (Max flap operating altitude)
The F/S/O speeds are not managed as constraints, and are not in the flight plan. It really is very simple...
Activate the approach phase on the fmgc (Perf page), and the managed speed becomes green dot. Then extend flaps 1, and managed speed is S speed. Flaps 2/3 and managed speed is F speed. You can do this at any stage of the flight and it will work the same. Obviously in normal operations you will only do it on approach.
I think you need to check your definition of retract. Retract means to pull in. Extend means to push out. So you extend flaps from 0 to 1. You retract flaps from 1 to 0.
3. F speed is comfortable for both flaps 2 and 3. there is very little difference between these settings...
4. You will always see the amber =. It is always Vfe of the next greater flap setting. The only times you dont see any amber= is
1) above 20,000
2) when flaps are full.