With a reply like that to a simple request for help from an aspiring aviator I am tempted to tell you to Get Lost.
However with your attitude to navigation you have demonstrated you are quite capable of getting lost without assistance from anyone else.
Syriadh
Try this for a little light relief. ......... Most of the advice is as good today as when the film was made
http://youtu.be/C6oGa1bqe1U