The occluded front over Greenland spoiled an otherwise smooth journey back to the NP base; a particularly determined lightning streak had punched through the electronics boot and fried some of CTE's favourite toys; one of which was the weather protection unit. The magical bubble of warmth and rain repellent protecting the sled quit, instantly. Cursing, wet cold and a little tired Santa dragged out the QRH and torch, opened the circuit breaker panel muttered the necessary incantations and pulled breaker AW25(b). The backup system kicked in and the sled was protected again; but, neither the reindeer or Santa could dry out and it was a wet, cold descent to the FAF. No matter the base weather control was on full blast and the visual approach was conducted through a gin clear, starry night; the base turned on the Aurora Borealis approach lights and with a sigh of relief Santa dropped the skids lined up for this years final approach. A gentle bump, the ancient chant – "Whoa there, Donner, Blitzen; Dasher, Dancer, Comet, Cupid, Prancer and Vixen" was invoked and the sled came to a gentle stop, on the green arrow outside the hangar. The reindeer elves quickly un harnessed the tired dears and whisked them off to their luxurious day spa centre to be cared for, primped and made presentable for the post delivery party.
Santa sat in the sled for moment after finishing the bookwork, listening to the gyro's running down; would I ever want to do anything else? he asked himself – silly, rhetorical question, he knew: smiling quietly, he levered his stiff body out of the seat. "Made it again" he says to no one in particular and with a nod to the gods, set off for home.
Of course his job was not over yet, the chief tech elf wanted his charge in the hangar as soon as the flight bag was unloaded and he peppered Santa with questions about his precious sleds ills. Had Santa tried this, had he done that; why was flying so close to lightning, was the paper-work all correctly filled out etc. etc; all the way back to the flight office. "Full report tomorrow" says Santa "I want a beer, a bath and a snooze by the fire first, then we're going to the post delivery party". The CTE looked glum, wanting all the details now-now – "relax" says Santa "we have until Easter before the sled is needed again, here have an ale, sit a spell".
Next morning, the CTE and Santa spent some time in the hangar praising the sleds performance and discussing ways to improve the next version over hot fresh coffee and some delicious muffins delivered by a large, magical elephant 'Merry Christmas from the houseboat crew' the card said. Both CTE and Santa were suitably impressed by the elephant's take off performance as it headed to Montreal, "IOS powered" the CTE murmured, "it's tricky stuff to manage, but if you can get it right; just look at that beast go". "Magic" says Santa but of course, he knew.
Well, the party was, as always a resounding success. Mrs S knew how to do it and her cousin 'Minnie' (delivered by the elephant) was visiting, so all in all; it was a stellar event. Rudolph copped a bit of 'genteel' ribbing, for messing about in Dizzyland. The CVR tapes were played and judged against the CTE 'cussing' efforts during the pre departure preparation phase; it was a close run thing though; Santa won by a short head, for the pure, inventive genius shown in his dealings with 'Brisbane". A special prize was awarded to Blitzen who had mounted a 'go-pro' camera in his harness and had recorded the
PR visit to the Dizzyland BBQ. The Hi Viz jackets could be seen, lurking in the car park at first whispering to each other; then pacing about, gesticulating and muttering into mobile phones, with their hand cupped over the mouthpiece. Did you know, all elves can lip read? – they can; the noise in the factory, during the pre Christmas production makes it a requirement for employment: and so, the entire audience were treated to a hilarious version of what those, subsequently dubbed Inutile and Dubious (or I&D), had said. It was all great fun..
The fax? – Oh, that was sorted before the party started; I&D thought to 'do' Santa for DUI, in fact they had been onto their boss looking for a way to do it; the fax stated clearly that both I&D could smell booze on Santa and his eyes were glassy. Of course, they conveniently 'forgot' that you need to do a test and furnish evidence. No matter, the Blitzen recording clearly showed that Santa had a ginger beer with his sandwich; and, the gentleman who gave it to Santa, along with about a dozen others, were all prepared to swear to it: so a stick it in your ear email was sent, via the Prime minister of Dizzyland.
It's a couple of days later now and the sled is behaving nicely during it's post maintenance test flight; from my humble right seat in sled I can see Santa is still concerned about it though; he keeps muttering words like odious payback and deceitful tactics. Next year's visit to Dizzyland will be a doozy, although why he's bought a diving helmet is a mystery.
Now then where's that bloody Easter Bunny hopped off to – dollar he's in the boozer. Better go and get him, dry him out and get him sorted for the egg run; I'm flying that out this year Santa says: once a year to Dizzyland is more than enough for him.
Toot toot ....Best wishes and all good things, to you and yours...
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Sponsored by the Styx River sled and elephant flying club.