Don't give up.
A few years back, I watched in open-mouthed wonder as a training captain for a major airline in Canada, testified under oath in court that he suffered from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, and that when he experienced pressure, he would run away and lock himself in the bathroom, presumably leaving the kid in the right seat to fly the aircraft by himself.
I am not making this up. I still have the transcript, somewhere.
If he can fly left seat - and teach new airline pilots - you can, too!