I don't understand how one can be expected to perform an unusual attitude recovery, at night, in IMC, when they have never been exposed to it in day VMC, with a clear horizon.
IFR flying lesson 1, don't believe your senses, get on the AI, set power and attitude and start scanning.
I agree it's good to have done 'robust' UA recoveries in the real thing, and the points you raise about how it feels are valid, but the crux is not to rely on the senses, as they may be telling you lies. However, if you can fight whatever your body's telling you and just go through the steps to recover methodically, you'll be OK, or at least as OK as it's possible to be under the particular circumstances.