Eau de Boeing, at the risk of generating even more rage then your gas reference, if what you're looking for is a smoker I'd suggest an
electric smoker. I got one for Christmas last year and I absolutely
love it. The best true BBQ food I've ever done.
You plug it in, set the desired temperature (I usually go for 220F) and time, add the food and wood chips, and go do other stuff. Come back once an hour or so to add more wood chips. I usually set it up for ~4 hours.
Simply fantastic food comes out, and it's close to fool proof.
This is what I got:
If you have something like a Cabela's or Bass Pro Shop in your neck of the woods, they'll have a good selection of electric smokers.