Skinhead + nose stud + leathers(ripped)copy of the big issue hanging out the jean jacket(really hard up); even better if you get the voice weighed off: 'Big Issssuuuueeeeeeee.'
Take the dog, always good for the sympathy vote and if you've got kids, leave them in the foyer, proves further hardship, ie , no baby sitter.
Want me to go on or do you get the picture...