"I see that Buck House clown has been released from Colchester, Carruthers, but why does he need such a big guard for cleanin' the ablutions, scared of creep-crawlies, what? What?"
"The doc says he's got extreme barracks phobia, sir."
"Barack O'Barmy? Well, tell him from me to cheer up, the feller's only got two years to go, haw haw haw!"