In the interest of Tri-Service harmony, from the same website:
The perceived homosexual culture within the Royal Navy has greatly influenced the development of the names of ranks for both officers and, ahem, seamen. A complete, accurate list of ranks is difficult to come by as the Ministry of Defense has expended vast resources attempting to cover up the appropriate inappropriate names of the ranks. The following list is the best obtainable without Level Purple Delta 6 security clearance.
Commissioned Officersedit
Admiral of the Fleet - The Big Chief. He gets to drive any boat he wants.
Admiral - These fellows run the Royal Navy. (The Admiral of the Fleet is too busy driving any boat he wants.)
Vice-Admiral - These fellows attempt to eliminate all prostitution within the Royal Navy.
Rear Admiral - Too easy.
Commodore - An old computer.
Captain - Usually an ex-pirate, but not always the case.
Commander - Is not really in command, except when the Captain is off plundering.
Lieutenant-Commander - Exists.
Lieutenant - May exist.
Sub-Lieutenant - Not quite as easy as Rear Admiral, but there is definitely some sort of S&M or CBT overtone.
Midshipman - These lads are tasked with holding the two halves of the ship together.
Ratings and Other Ranksedit
Chief Petty Officer - The Little Chief. Must have an eye patch and at least one wooden leg.
Petty Officer - Fairly anal.
Leading Seaman - Sounds like leading semen.
Able Seaman - Sounds like able semen.
Ordinary Seaman - Sounds like ordinary semen.
The British Army uses a wide variety of weapons, including Water Pistols, Rubber Chickens, 13.37-pounder guns and Challenger 2 Tanks captured from Salisbury Plain and civilian boats used to retreat across the English channel. Other silly weapons include the Mk1 Darjeeling Teabag, a very silly weapon indeed. Their most effective weapon, however, is the cunning British art of hiding behind the English channel.
And yet they can afford to use these weapons, as bullets bounce off them.