Sympathies to you in your difficult situation. With all due respect to your personal issues, do not make them worse by making a BIG mistake while at work and with your mind not being fully on the the job. The company does not want that, you don't want that and the passengers (including your buddies and their families) don't want that. If EK cannot see that this is compassionate leave time, then we are ALL in the wrong company.
Good luck, time will heal the pain somewhat but how much time is necessary is the question.
JS