Flashman – by G.M. Fraser has long been one of my top 10 reads. Our erstwhile DPM reminds me of the Flashman description of General William Elphinstone. a.k.a. Elphy Bey. The parallels irresistibly draw the reader to the inevitable conclusion.
But I still state unhesitatingly, that for pure, vacillating stupidity, for superb incompetence to command, for ignorance combined with bad judgment --in short, for the true talent for catastrophe -- Elphy Bey stood alone. Others abide our question, but Elphy outshines them all as the greatest military idiot of our own or any other day.
Only he could have permitted the First Afghan War and let it develop to such ruinous defeat. It was not easy: he started with a good army, a secure position, some excellent officers, a disorganised enemy, and repeated opportunities to save the situation. But Elphy, with the touch of true genius, swept aside these obstacles with unerring precision, and out of order wrought complete chaos. We shall not, with luck, look upon his like again.
And later, when Elphy’s incompetence causes things to go from bad to worse to downright disastrous:
Possibly there has been a greater shambles in the history of warfare than our withdrawal from Kabul; probably there has not…I am at a loss for words to describe the superhuman stupidity, the truly monumental incompetence, and the bland blindness to reason of Elphy Bey and his advisers. If you had taken the greatest military geniuses of the ages, placed them in command of our army, and asked them to ruin it utterly as speedily as possible, they could not – I mean it seriously -- have done it as surely and swiftly as he did. And he believed he was doing his duty. The meanest sweeper in our train would have been a fitter commander.
You can see what I mean – the train wreck is occurring as we speak – the only mystery remaining is where will the wreckage lay when it stops. IF the unthinkable happens and there are almost 60 outstanding recommendations for reform, a damning Senate report and a damning Government report and a demeaning international report gathering dust on the minuscule's desk then the fall of a government would be inevitable.
You are being badly and deceitfully advised Minister; appoint Mike Smith with David Fawcett to oversight; and deal with the very real issues before disaster (in one form or another) strikes. Shirley there must be one of the 'inner circle' who can see through this flummery and advise the Minister that Pink Bats in the belfry may sound like one of those good ideas, but get it wrong and lives are lost.
Selah.