Hello Pat!
Now I wonder if this mucho macho instructor could be ex-military? Sometimes these chaps forget just who is paying for the flying instruction, namely YOU (and not the government).
I've had a lot of instructors because I started flying at 50,so made slow progress. You are starting young, and some types feel they can pick on youngsters. I was a bit more experienced and so if I didn't like the attitude of the bossy type I ditched him and got somebody else. You might think of taking a holiday in the UK or the USA for a week or two and spending the entire time doing your training....because the best way to learn is to go on a concentrated week or 2 week course, then you don't slip back as one does when you go say once every 2 or 3 weeks. However, NEVER PAY UP FRONT ALL AT ONCE! Flying clubs have a tendency to go bust and there goes your money as well....
Ireland is a problem because your weather is even worse than ours; England in the midlands would be best, say Wellesborne, or similar.
Or you could come gliding with us at Shenington Gliding Club! more fun and cheaper than power.