I just want to know in plain English WTF is going on.
Ok here goes:
In my non-pilot or pilot never flown more than twice a month opinion, you guys get too much time off and we are struggling for pilots. I am an expert on fatigue and always feel refreshed and ready for work on arrival after 14 hours in First Class so don't see what you are whining about.
If you fly 3 ULRs a month, with only 3 pilots on each, we can save money in 3 ways:
1. fewer crew to pay
2. reduced recruitment costs
3. reduced medical and welfare costs due to fatigue and early death.
The only way for you to change the situation is through ASRs and fatigue reporting (when justified) but we are confident that most of you are such pussies that you won't do it. In fact, in the unlikely event our hubris has screwed the operation, we are certain you weenies will go the extra mile to help out.
Standby for the new 4 ULR, 2 crew rules and free coffin on retirement! (If you elect for cremation, the Stealey Wheelie can double up)
Love, The Management
How's that?