Every year us ATCO's in the UK have to go through a simulated day of emergency training, and every year there are new 'best' practices quite often contradicting one another.
I wouldn't be too suprised that your friend didn't know what you said. We cannot be taught specific emergencies, as each are always different from the next. In this example, is the dead engine out or on fire? I know an FO friend who told me never turn into a dead engine UNLESS its flaming, then ALWAYS turn into it or risk burning the tail. I know another who disagrees.
An ATCO's job is to aid you fully to safety, however not being pilots (well most of us), we will ask very early on if there are any special handling requirements we need to know. Alternatively, we are also prepared for the occasional 'sorry cannot do that', and so immediately have to alter plans, but thats what we are trained for, expect the unexpected......
