Leon, the one objection to your list is that Skegness is NEARLY a Seaside town (it is normally about 3 miles from the sea, at low tide). (And, having spent a week there for each of the first 16 years of my life I know this for certain).
And,
Hempy, you say:-
walk into a recruiting office and tell the corporal there that you've come to be a real life RAF Top Gun
I believe the full procedure is that you walk into the office and say "Ive come to be a dum-dee-dum-dah-dah-dum-dum-dee-dum Top Gun". Then accept their fawning adulation.