Smudge
Whilst I did not hear of this one previously, I have oft hear mention of the Portuguese incident you refer to, along with rumoured OC Eng involvement.....do spill the beans...
In my years on Albert, we relatively infrequently broke; when we did, it was a very mixed bag of advice received from Lyneham. The most fatuous suggestion was to fly back across the Pond with a bung in one of the dump masts to 'cure a fuel leak'.....you couldn't make it up!
Cheers