Hi David:
First, I think you probably would like to know that almost everyone here has had “feelings” just like, or very much like, those you have described. The interesting fact is that while many have had the same or similar feelings – almost everyone has a slightly different answer.
For me it was recognizing how I felt about those I’ve met in this profession – I suppose it’s similar to most other professions … you run across the good, the bad, and the mediocre – and mediocre isn’t a ‘bad” term – just sort of “in the middle, between good and bad.” For me, I always preferred concentrating on the really good ones, and letting the others just melt into history … and I guess it was primarily due to the fact that those “good ones” were the ones who taught me something … and what they taught was surprisingly simple … but when I thought on it a while, I recognized that I would likely have never recognized how simple it really was without that person pointing it out – the way he/she did.
Not all of them were involved specifically in the business of teaching – at least not teaching me – but they weren’t hesitant about offering comments or suggestions or personal stories in the vein of “…I learned about flying from that…” Of course, I had always had an interest in teaching – In fact, I did it for a while - teaching math to high school students. But flying was always lurking. When I got out of the service, (US Air Force pilot) having nothing else lined up, I found myself at the local GA airport and talking with some of the folks that were “around.”
It didn’t take long before I was teaching flying for Mary Gaffney’s Flight School. You may or may not recognize her name, but for quite a while she was certainly one of the best, and there were many who though she was the very best, female stunt pilot in the world. Soon I moved on toward doing similar kinds of jobs in airplanes a bit bigger and a bit faster. I won’t bore you with the details … but I soon realized that teaching and testing pilots became THE thing that was my “nitch” – and by teaching and testing, I found that it really allowed me to feel that I was “making a difference.” I can’t imagine what it would be like to go to work – regardless of the type of work – and not feel like what I’m doing, every day, has the sole purpose of providing a living. Don’t get me wrong … making an honest living is a pretty darn good goal. But for me, I wanted a bit more … well … self-rewarding.
I don’t mean wanting to have someone give you “plaques” or “letters of appreciation” or “blue ribbons” or “instructor of the year” citations. Those are all nice – some are really nice – but that’s not what I was doing it for. I was doing it for the no-holds-barred, honest recognition, that I was able to help pilots actually “fly the airplane” better, more consistently – help pilots understand that there ARE situations beyond their ability, and helping them KNOW that the ability to recognize such situations is nothing to be embarrassed about or a reason for feeling shamed, or incompetent – quite the contrary – recognizing situations that may well be beyond one’s talent and ability is the epitome of exercising sound judgment and putting safety first. Also, there is nothing quite like showing a student something about any particular airplane – my absolute favorite, is showing a pilot how to make consistently good landings – and ensuring that they KNOW that a consistently good landing is not necessarily the “greased on” landing, which always seems to be the sought after “mark of a good pilot.” I take it personally when a student can come to grips that consistently good, firm, “no-doubt-we’re-on-the-ground” landings, at the proper attitude and the proper location ON the runway are the true marks of a good pilot.
For what it may be worth, I’d recommend you take a look at what it is about flying that you enjoy – what days have you gone home feeling very good about your work product that day. Don’t focus on when you went home feeling bad … only those days that you left work feeling good – about the day and about yourself. THEN go back and re-think that day’s activities and pick out those things that happened and what role you had in those specific things.
I’ll bet you that the 2 things you will feel the best about are:
1) when you can recall a relatively complicated sequence of events through which you were “on top” of all of the situations that developed … when you went from one situation or circumstance to the next, confidently and correctly (likely on either a departure or arrival/approach/landing) … and you recognize, perhaps most significantly, that you would very likely go back and do exactly what you did if you had the chance to do it all over again; and
2) the times when you were able to explain something to the guy/gal in the other seat … (either explaining something or showing them something or guiding them through something they were doing) and you could see the “light-bulb” of recognition illuminate and the slight smile that crept across their face when “they got it.”
IF either of these are recognized … I’d recommend that you seriously consider talking to someone about getting into the training/checking business. If you don’t have any of those kinds of days … if you don’t recall any such pleasant memories … if you’d rather not have to tell someone how to do something they should already know how to do … then I’d recommend NOT expressing an interest in training/checking and take the advice that you’ll likely see posted here from others.
Either way – you’re not the first and you won’t be the last aviator who’s found themselves confronting the same kind of “does this really have to be it?” question. And, of course, you’re more than welcome to ask other questions if you’d like. As I say, I really like this profession – and I’m happy to help others feel the same way if possible.