Do you rent Paul? That is an unsustainable way of flying IMHO. You need to buy a share, even if it is relatively cheap share.
I got bored renting, and could have easily given up in the mid naughties. So I bought my first share which reinvigorated flying. Eventually we sold that one and me and one of the others in that group bought our own plane between us (Commander). This was much faster and our own plane so we can do whatever we want, when we want, and we do.
When my son was born I went through all the usual guilt trips, about what would happen if I killed myself, or leaving the Mrs at home looking after kids while I go flying (which was a source of discussions, believe me
)....BUT now he is older (almost 3) I can take him flying with me, give her a break, and he LOVES it...After a flight he talks about it non stop for days. Now we can also go flying as a family, and so those "discussions" are largely disappearing. can't wait for the day we can jump in the family Turboprop and fly down to Switzerland for a weekend's skiiing (ha ha, yea right, but we can dream....).
yes I do think "what if I crash" with the family on-board but I have come to trust my skills so that if anything goes wrong, I believe I can handle it to the best of my ability....I also took out life insurance.......