Airline Safety Solutions from PPRUNE
Despite the sometimes zealous intervention of our esteemed moderators (which I applaud) we the denizens of this clearinghouse of rumour, fact and opinion have collectively provided a roadmap for improved airline safety.
Many of the most novel ideas have been deleted. So someone needs to summarize because I am sure AAIB are looking for ideas.
Pilots, Cabin Crew and Mechanics and others with access to aircraft
= Full dossier from all police and security agency files including NSA taps
= Complete review of all social media used by these suspicious people
= Analysis of all purchases in the last year with focus on flight simulation
= Excessive web usage viewing pages like PPRUNE
= Excessive perusal of NTSB, AAIB and other agency accident reports
= Records of those who have experience marital discord or divorce
= Records of any mortgage defaults or other financial blemishes
= Set up hot line for anonymous reports on any of these scary people
= Better checking in security for any weirdo maps
= Check for reading habits, particularly Dummy's Guides to Big Jet Ditching
= Watch for warning signs such as library checkout of DeMille's "MAYDAY"
= Carefully check crew carry-on for suspicious item such as
Wilderness Survival items: tents, energy blankets, energy bars
Complete set of LOST and DVD player
Parachute Waypoint lists in crayon with jerky penmanship
Gold bullion or large amounts of currency.... strange currency
Preflight Procedures
= Preflight psychological exam and counseling for all flight and cabin crew
= Check cargo for potential rotting fruit that could emit toxic fumes
= Remove Lithium batteries from all carry-on goods
= Send any late arriving passengers back to the start of the line
= Arrest any crew member who looks at the closed circuit cameras
= End waiting area announcements that creep me out such as:
"We hope you will take XYZ airways to your final destination"
= Bar any passengers that look funny or have strange accents
= Bar any passengers that have religious symbols - might be fanatics
= Carefully review any passenger carry on reading material
How to Fly Big Jets by Davies... and no CPL - kick them off
Stick and Rudder by Langewiesche - enhanced security interrogation
Survival at Sea... kick them off
Flight Documentation and SAR Features
= Full time secure data link to satellites with all relevant data
= Direct feed of all data to servers accessible by PPRUNE members
= At least 4 external indestructible ULBs with 2 year battery life
= At least 6 internal indestructible ULBs inside the cabin
= At least 2 ULBs in cabin to be in custody of trusted vetted travelers
= Link and support systems in titanium pilot / crew resistant case
No circuit breaker, carefully filtered AC source, battery to last 20 hrs
Explosion proof, maybe get the weight under 100 kg!
= Star Trek Captain's log, >10 of them. Cabin crew can eject in fright
= At least 20 sealable canisters in cabin with check off notes... floating
= All insulating and floating materials to have orange day glow coating
= Large ferrous strips in fuselage to allow effective magnetometer search
= ULB with acoustic controlled release to float to service upon call
= Large parachutes to save - or stop the aircraft if something fishy occurs
Cabin Monitoring
= For smaller aircraft one skilled monitor with flying and psych experience
= Larger: 2 monitors on flight deck, one tie breaker in the cabin
= Separate GPS and monitor for passengers (each with Alert Pinger to Sat)
Pilot Performance Monitoring and Approval Link
= Basic inflight EEG monitoring with real-time analysis
On detection of subversive thoughts, instant zap, and call for alternate
= Two way link to the UN Flight Input Monitoring and Control Centre
= All waypoint entries review by UNFIMCC before engine start
= Any waypoint changes get a similar review and carbon tax recalculation
= Any sudden thrust lever movement by prior approval of ground monitor
= Same for extension of flaps, slats etc
Flight Deck Security
= Total seal from cabin air - ditto on cargo flights
But only fair to have at least 16 hour cabin oxygen for all
And of course, must provide for pressure breathing above FL250
= Improve access security - at all times
= Flight deck occupants food and drink tested and certified
= Before takeoff: Flight deck sealed, to be opened at destination airport
= Improved DVDR with separate implanted mics for all including cabin crew
= Increase record time of DFDR to one year and have 3 per aircraft
Improved Back Up Systems
= At least 40 gallon reserve tank for the APU that cabin crew can turn on
= Three RATs for any long range flights
= Replace at least 20% of the wing fuel tanks with flotation material
I am sorry if I missed some of the best ideas. PM me if I need to add some.
And my sincere apologies if I have offended anyone with this bit of levity related to a situation that is very serious and has brought a lot of sorrow.
Moderators: Thanks for the great job on a huge pile of submissions. Your call on this one...