Am I normal? Statistics needed!
I've heard of pilots being uncomfortable with heights, and it's fair to say I fall firmly into that category. I love flying, the higher the better. I've had a go at aeros and I can't wait to jump out of an aircraft for the first time. On the other hand, I can't go up a ladder outside my house! This, I sort of understand and I realise I'm not alone.
I haven't been on a commercial flight since a year or so before I started learning to fly (2008, began training 2009). Before that I was away on holiday pretty much annually, anywhere from Spain to Hawaii, doing differing amounts of flying on airliners, even through severe turbulence. No issue.
I was recently talking to a family member who has a fear of flying the other day and whilst I didn't admit directly to her, I had a sudden realisation that I was terrified by the thought of going aboard an airliner!
I don't think it's the fact that someone (or something) else is flying it. I don't think it's the fact that everyone is packed like sardines into the cabin. I genuinely think it's the idea of the pressurised cabin and the prospect of little oxygen or pressure immediately outside the aircraft. I also fear a water landing, even though stupidly I can fly a light aircraft to the IoM or over the wash without worrying. In my head a water landing in a PA28 is more survivable than one in a 767.
I'm so disturbed by the thought of going on an airliner that I whince at the very thought of taking my belt off mid flight. A real u-turn, considering the fact that I originally got into flying to be a commercial pilot! Luckily, that's no longer my aim. I genuinely feel that if an opportunity to go on an airliner presents itself, I'll turn it down! Yet in light aircraft I love it and can't wait to get airborne again, even though I know the risks of flying in IMC at night in a single (not that I do that sort of flying, but I'd prefer it to getting on a 300 seat, 450kt, £multi-million coffin).
I think I may need to convinced I'm safe, via numbers. For example, I had two main instructors when working towards PPL/IMC, one with 1k hours, the other with 9k hours. Neither of them had ever suffered an engine failure, and all their hours were on singles with the exception of the odd hundred which were on twins. I don't fear an engine failure, even though I know it can and does happen. I know I'm unlikely to ever fly more than a couple of thousand hours, which helps me feel safe in this instance. Does anyone know statistically how many engine failures occur during the lifetime of an average Lycoming? 1? 10? 0.01? I don't.
So:
If an airliner has to ditch, what are my chances of dying from the cold water, rather than the landing on calm seas, as is likely the case in a light aircraft?
How often do rapid depressurisations occur, with the fog in the cabin and oxygen masks having to be donned?
When a depressurisation does occur, what % of people suffer hearing damage? How many people will end up unconscious? How difficult really is it, putting on a mask? How long does it take for the mist to disappear? Are my kids going to die before I can get a mask on them, if I have to put mine on first like the cabin crew instruct before the flight?
How often, when checking a fuselage for metal fatigue cracks, are cracks missed resulting in a depressurisation and/or hole in the cabin?
I'm also into motorcycling (road), so if anyone can post comparable safety statistics on the safety of motorcycling and traveling via commercial airlines that would be great.
I feel unbelievably stupid making this 'confession' and asking questions like these... am I alone?
Maybe I've just been watching too much Air Crash Investigation or too many clips of horrifying wing claps on YouTube...
Thanks.