Rules Of The Air
From the June, 2000 issue of Australian Aviation Magazine
1. Takeoffs are optional. Landing is mandatory.
2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If
you pull stick back, they get smaller. That is unless you
keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger
again.
3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is dangerous.
4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up
there than up there wishing you were down here.
5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on
fire.
6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to
keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch
the pilot start sweating.
7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever
collided with the sky.
8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A
'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane
again.
9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long
enough to make all of them yourself.
10. You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes
full power to taxi to the ramp.
11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to
the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability
of survival and vice versa.
12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain
didn't get to five minutes earlier.
13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps
talking about might be another airplane going in the
opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that
mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.
14. Always try to keep the number of landings you make
equal to the number of take offs you've made.
15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth
landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.
16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of
experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before
you empty the bag of luck.
17. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels
them.
18. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's
going round and round and all you can hear is commotion
coming from the passenger compartment, things are not at
all as they should be.
19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of
aluminum going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground
going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose.
20. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately,
experience usually comes from bad judgment.
21. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going
forward.
22. Keep looking around. There's always something you've
missed.
23. Remember: Gravity is not just a good idea, it's the law.
And it's not subject to repeal. Or appeal.
24. The three most useless things to a pilot are: altitude
above you, runway behind you, and a tenth of a second ago.