Dear moggie,
you are almost right except for a couple of things:
1) I am not his girlfriend any more
2) I am much better than you think. In fact I just happen to have won the title of "Barfbag Lady of the Year 2003", that you sure should know can be won only by provoking spontaneous vomiting in the public only with your looks and bodily odors.
We were an item for five years, and if our love story came to an end it was entirely my fault. I was alas not patient enough to keep any longer my virginity while he was saving enough money with his job of part-time toilet attendant to get a penis enhancement. Or it was implant. Well, whatever. To make a long love story short, one night I threw my virginity away with an Air Force pilot who was sitting next to me at the pub and immediately began drinking when he saw me. I am sure he fell instantly in love, even if he pretends that if he almost wet his pants it was because he thought he saw a troll and not with wild desire for me.
Anyway, A mutual friend, Bob the septic tank cleaner, told me that he has saved enough to add at least a whole inch to his manhood, that should then sum up to a total 1,5.
So you guys shouldn't bother too much if he's a little mad and tries so hard to appear an a***hole. You would too if people kept repeating that all that you can get with a peanut is a monkey ...