A few people have asked me to provide updates on my training, from the point of view of someone who has a fear of flying, so I thought I would spawn a new thread for it. Perhaps it may even help a few other along too. I will split up my initial post over a couple of posts, cause I think it will be too much.
A few years back, I would not even step into a commercial jet. I was just too scared. A completely irrational fear I know, but if you have not experienced it yourself, its impossible for others to understand. I guess this is why we call it an irrational fear. I love aviation, have always been interested in it, but just to scared to pursue the interest.
So eventually, I was forced to overcome this fear or lose my job, so I had to get onto a plane. So with much protest I eventually did. You become so overcome with fear, that it makes you physically sick, you nerves are shot, you start sweating profusely, you feel like you need to throw up. Even breathing becomes labored and difficult. Anyway, I survived. I am sure the metal on the seat handles of that 737-800 is now permanently deformed, and probably still has my fingernail marks in it. You have to give credit to the flight crew when dealing with people like me, they do a fantastic job of alleviating your fears and making you comfortable. A few stiff drinks before hand also helped me. I was not drunk when I first stepped on a plane, I think that would make things worth, but a little social lubricant does help. maybe 2 standard drinks!
Step forward a few years, I had made many flights between Brisbane and Sydney/Melbourne for work. I even took a few holidays, including one to Cairns. It was during that holiday I decided to step up the challenge. We were out on a boat trip to the great barrier reef, and they offered helicopter scenic flights. So I signed up. Getting into that heli brought back all my initial fears. I was petrified to the point were I was almost about to get back out. But I pulled myself together and off we went. Once you are up there, a good pilot will soon make you forget your fears. I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Work eventually saw me mixing it up in smaller aircraft flying out to regional areas. Spend time in Dash 8's, Metroliners, Kingairs and various other small twin engine aircraft. I become a regular commuter on aircraft, even at times doing the monday friday commute between Brisbane and Sydney. I have become so used to it now, that it does not worry me anymore. I still have the nerves, I still get sweaty palms, but I can get on an aircraft and relax to some degree.
Fast forward to last Jan. I took a trip to New Zealand, and chartered a helicopter to fly my wife and I out to Milford sound and around (and on) a few of the glaciers. The helicopter was an R44, and it was this trip that convinced I need to make the next step. As I said before, I was always interested in Aviation, so I decided to make the next step. I just wasn't quite sure when it would happen.
My other hobbies are motorcycle riding, and sailing. Apparently a lot of pilots also like motorcycles and sailing, and often do one or the other or both. It was my pursuit of motorcycling that would eventually lead me to taking that step into becoming a pilot. About march last year, I was out riding my trail bike (solo) and I have a pretty good crash. I thought I had just sprained my knee, but it was hurting pretty bad so I got my wife to take me to hospital that night. Turns out I had fractured my tibia in about 5 places, and ruptured my ACL. I had surgery about 6 weeks later to fix it all up, but sailing and riding was going to be impossible for the next 12 months. I was good enough to walk after about 3 months, and decided this was the time to go for a trial flight.
Yup, those fears came straight back again, but it was no where near as bad as that first time I stepped onto that commercial aircraft 10 years ago. Nevertheless, I was scared, but I sat in the left seat, and once were were at a 1000' I got to take over and fly the plane. Once you discover how easy it is, most of your fear dissipates. I flew the plane until we turned on base leg, when the pilot took over. Fear back again, the landing was scary, but not like I had expected.
So I am hooked at this point. I just need the thumbs up from my surgeon to fly and start training. That came a couple of months later, September 2013 IIRC.
Now the fun stuff begins. I am still scared, every take off and landing, I get sweaty palms, my breathing becomes a little labored. You get that sick feeling in your stomach. But I am flying, and enjoying it. Doing the basic stuff, straight and level, turns, climbing and descending is all pretty straightforward. Steep climbs make me nervous, in fact still do today. But all in all things are going well.
Enter stall training. Not good, not good at all. For someone who has that fear of flying, a plane falling out of the sky is not an easy thing to deal with. That point were the aircraft becomes completely stalled, and that brief feeling of weightlessness is pretty intense for the first time. I have felt that before, in commercial flight where the plane has hit turbulence and dropped a couple of hundred feet (if that) but nothing prepares you for it when you in the pilots seat. This is where a good instructor makes life a lot easier. I didn't like my instructor at first, I though he was a pompous ****, but I really appreciated him after this. He turned out to be a pretty good guy, and I was completely wrong with my opinion. It took me about 3 hours in total to do basic stalls. Most people (especially younger lads) would have this stitched up in an hour. I walked away with the ability to recover a stalled aircraft, but I was still scared of stalls.
With all the basic stuff covered off, its time to start doing circuits. By now, I had done my medical, but because of chronic asthma, there is a delay whilst CASA ponders my case. Not a problem, got plenty of time yet. So I am still scared, take off and landing still make me nervous, but each time I fly it becomes just that tiny little bit easier. The great thing about the circuit, especially in the early parts is that your workload is so high, you dont have a lot of time to be scared. You just do what you have to, and keep flying. This is the time I decided to pop up on pprune. Been reading stuff on here for ages, and a lot of google searches end up pointing here. I am starting to get frustrated with the round out and hold off not working for me, wondering if I will ever get it. Then a post here, a few good pointers I nailed it the following week (Thanks pprune!!).
Finally, I get to that point where I am ready to go solo in the circuit. But it turns out that my previous stall training has not been signed off on (the instructor I did my stall training with was only a casual), so out to the training area we go again. This time, they CFI decided I can start on advanced stalls, as this will cover off the basics. They know I have done it before, so a bit of revision on the simple stalls and they will sign off on it. But we also start some advanced stuff. Stalls whilst climbing, stalls whilst descending, turning stalls, then mix it all up. Then incipient stalls. The instructor demo's this spin recovery, but it scared the hell out of me so much so that I refuse to have a go on the day. I need to go back and digest it all first.
So the day comes around, I finally solo. When you first do a solo circuit, all that fear comes back again. But you push on, and you are so busy you dont have time to digest it. I did one full stop and that was it for the day. But you walk away, still shaking, but smiling. Finally I have flow a plane by myself. I have taken off and landed by myself. Its a great feeling. And for someone like me who is so scared of flying, its just so much bettered knowing you have tamed your fears finally, well almost. But for that little moment, you just dont care about the fears that are still there.
I know the inevitable is coming. I have to master 2 things that have been demonstrated to me to date. Steep turns (I only have to do 45 degree turn for my GFPT, but this becomes 60 degree for my PPL). Both have scared me a lot, and I dont like it all. I still dont like stalls either.
My last flight was bad. Practicing crosswind circuits in gusty 15-20knot winds. I did a go around after hitting some chopper upwash that screwed up my final. About midway down the runway, I got hit by a large gust that rolled the plane over about 30-45 degrees. It happened pretty quickly and violently. The instructor took over and I told him I had had enough for the day. I was a bit rattled by the whole experience. We landed and I walked away wondering if I am making the right decision to pursue my licence. This comes at a good time, because I have to go for another minor operation on my knee. I keep up the study anyway, and put that little incident to the back of my mind.
Today comes about. By now I have written off my little fright and some good solid experience. I did not die, so it cant be that bad. Just goes to show how stable the C172S is. Its another one of those days, blowing 20-25knots. I expect more crosswind circuits, but the instructor says nope, we are going off to do incipient stalls. I really don't want to do this. I am thinking how I can get out of it. That same fear is coming back again. I feel sick. But I go up anyway. Fortunately, this instructor is really good at allaying your fears. I cant speak highly enough of him.
We get to the training area and start off with a few clean stalls, then a few stalls with flaps down. Then I ask him to demo a 60 degree turn, I can handle that but I cant handle the incipient stall, I am just delaying the inevitable. So we do the turn, then I have a go. I manage a couple of 45 degree turns, and even one pushing 60. I am feeling pretty good now, confidence is up. FI demos a incipient stall. I still dont want to do it, but he encourages me to have a go by suggesting we will just do a real gentle one. So I have a go. Done. I have another go, done. Have a third go, done. No major fear at all. I say that sitting here typing thinking about it, and my palms are all sweaty. But today I managed some standard stalls, with out any major component of fear at all, and I also manged incipient stalls!
Today I am happy, defeating that incipient stall feels just as good as that first solo. I was so afraid of doing, but I have come to the realisation that its pretty harmless. I know I can go out there and do some more stalls now, and the idea does not scare me at all.
So we move on. I still need another hour of solo circuits. I nearly have the crosswind stuff sorted. So I am moving forward at a good pace now. Just got to do a little more advanced takeoff and landing, precautionary search and landing, and some basic instrument training and I should be able to do the area solo.
I also passed my area solo exam today. 90% pass. The 2 questions I got wrong were an engine related one which I genuinely did not know. the other was regarding turns and forces, and had the concept right, I just did not interpret the answer correctly. See folks, they say you should go reread all your answers when doing exams, had i done so I would have had a 95% pass!
So my fears are subsiding, and my confidence is growing. I decided to write this here on pprune, because hopefully others will go to google and might get directed here for help on fear of flying. I have certainly taken a lot from here, so perhaps here is my opportunity to provide a little back. Hopefully in the years to come I will be able to provide more assistance, as I gain experience!
Thanks for listening.