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Old 10th Feb 2014, 06:39
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ekwhistleblower
 
Join Date: May 2006
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Good News and Bad

Whilst we have been operating in challenging conditions and struggling to meet our targets I do have some good news to pass on.

First Wave punctuality is at an all time high of 72% which cascades all the way to the 93rd wave with improved punctuality of 0.4%.

Uniform returns are down to an all time low at 2% bar the wings which achieved 101% return but the snazzy new plastic ones are sure to be more popular.

Our new lanyards are receiving rave reviews in the international press, we have been put up for "Best Stringed ID Card" by the Arabian Business Spectator.

Fiscally, fuel prices are down and load factors up which should allow us to announce a stupendous new sponsorship deal, bonuses for the managers, a dividend for the owner and a bumper pay rise for the crew which to ensure it is fair will be directly proportional to 93rd wave punctuality.

Seriously, I'd be astounded if we didn't get anything so 5+3% and a 6 week profit share!

(See next post EKWB is astounded)
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