Having had a good think over the course of the weekend, a couple of other highlights, the biggest ones probably being my first tour in Baghdad and my first tour in Helmand. If you will excuse the ramblings of a rapidly aging fart, I'm going to pull up a sandbag.
My first tour in Baghdad in 2003 I was attached to V Corp US Army (don't ask how a Flt Lt got there, I'm still not entirely sure myself). There were a few Brits in the HQ and one day 3 of us were dragged into a huddle in the corner to be told - and I paraphrase - "there's a couple of UK vehicles not checked in en route to Taji (north of Baghdad) - go and make sure they aren't a smouldering wreck somewhere".
A lot of nervous looks later and we set of in our own Landrovers, fortunately, civilian V8s so they had a turn of speed about them. Drove up the MSR to Taji, having dodged the fuel tanker REVERSING back into the on coming traffic on the MSR, and got to Taji. No sign of any smouldering Landrovers, so we started to think the worst, until our phone kicked in and it was the occupants of the 'missing' vehicles. They had got lost and RTB'd and were now checking in - apologies for forgetting to do it sooner. Angry didn't begin to describe it, but hey ho, there we were just outside the MOB at Taji so figured we would pop in for a refuel and play it safe.
Whilst refueling, we were retasked - to this day, I'm convinced it was by 'an agency' to help get a couple of flatbeds back to Baghdad so they could go en route to Basrah. At this point Flt Lt Melchett is scratching his head and really wondering how on earth he got himself in to this, but they were awfully persuasive, so we agreed to help. Talk about being sold a pup - the couple of empty flat beds started breeding and rapidly turned into 8, of which if memory serves, at least 5 were carrying full containers. When we asked what the cargo was, we were told in a very matter of fact manner 10,000 AK-47s and just under 2 million rounds of 7.62.
The 4 of us looked at each other and not a single word was uttered. We instinctively knew this was a very bad idea. And there isn't a single bad idea that can't be made worse by it getting dark. Whilst speed had been our friend on the way up, having to escort these lumbering beasts back meant we were now tied to their speed - 60mph or there abouts. The personal radios we had weren't worth the plastic they were made from as we discovered had the range of my late grandmother carrying a heavy bag of shopping, so effectively we were slow and couldn't even talk to each other. But looking on the bright side, if anything did happen, we were unlikely to run out of ammo - just as long as we could break into one of the containers. And this is where I come to the best / worst part.
The worst part wasn't the nerve jangling drive back down the MSR to the centre of Baghdad, it was discovering when we checked back in with J2 that we had driven this convoy through an ambush that had destroyed a Bradley IFV and killed its occupants and damaged 2 others - it was apparently a big bang. J2 were keen to know if we had seen anything - we had - we saw the 3 Bradleys at a checkpoint on the way up and on the way back, so clearly, somebody had been sitting by the side of the road watching and waiting. To this day I still wonder if they had realised what we were carrying whether they would have pushed the button. That's one of the nine lives down at least. If Guardian Angels exist, then mine was working overtime that night!
Fast forward a month to R&R and my best mate and room mate from IOT met me at Brize with a cheery "hello mate, do you want to drive or shall I?" As we stopped for food about 30 mins up the road I noticed his vice like grip on the side of the seat as he turned round and said as calmly as he could - "I don't know how the hell you drive in Baghdad, but it is traditional in the UK to stop at traffic lights and roundabouts". I don't think I have laughed quite so hard either before or since - it was the perfect ice breaker and a brilliant example of military humour at its finest to defuse a situation.
If Baghdad was just one step away from insanity, then Helmand 2006 was the ultimate highlight. At that stage it wasn't nation building, stabilisation, or any of the other tree huggy political stuff we do these days. It was proper war fighting, with a free fire zone north of Highway 1 and not that far off shoot on sight in Musa Qala. In short, it was everything we join the military to do. It was proper, full on fighting, testing your professional and personal abilities to their absolute limits. It was a tour that turned boys into men and left me physically and emotionally exhausted by the time I got home. I wouldn't have missed it for the world.
Last edited by Melchett01; 2nd Feb 2014 at 23:37.