unfortunate.
the children thing probably didnt help.
i left nz for oz some years ago. still own property in nz. i was very careful to declare all. got a letter from nz ird and was declared a non tax resident from the start. there are three people you do not fcuk with in life. your mum, the ird and doG. they can all make your life miserable and you get no recourse.
osh and acc are just as bad.
be conservative with tax returns. give them no reason to look at you. tell your accountant that.
good luck.