TB # 1700 "Rumour of a particular one in AD who thrives on making life impossible by demanding junkets to foreign climes at the operators expense of course then writing NCN's against non existing reg's, or his opinion on operational matters he is not qualified to interfere in."
TB was this the great FAOC issue 'proving flight - from hell'?. One of the BRB occasionally visits Darwin and had us all in stitches last time we had a quiet, cold one; telling us a tall tale about a flight which has become somewhat of a legend up there. As we were having a drink and the yarn well told, no one queried the 'context or facts', thinking it was just for a laugh.
The way we heard it was that an AWI and FOI determined that a proving flight (for an airwork/ charter operation?) would not only provide a nice week end away, on expenses; but, would set a new precedents, being the first time this was ever done (outside of airline operations). This first of it's type 'safety' initiative would have to be a pearler, to impress the boss; and, as there were no costs for CASA to justify, this was deemed a cracking good idea. Personal motivations or spiteful payback were tactfully omitted from the brief (no box to tick; neat eh?). It's an improbable yarn; but just for fun lets do the operational sums.
Uhmm, that's two pilots for 3 days, aircraft ferry WA to Darwin, back to WA. Ground handling fees, customs fees, clearance fees, landing and navigation fees outbound. Dead leg out to Dilli, inbound ground handling fees, paperwork fees, navigation fees, landing fees, oh and lunch all around x 4. Outbound departure fees. Dead leg Dilli to Darwin, inbound navigation fees, customs fees, ground handling and overnight parking fees. A few cold beers and a steak or two all round, accommodation and transport, for aircrew, for two nights. Not to mention or consider that the operator had two men away earning nothing, an aircraft tied up for days earning nothing. No one home to cover revenue flying or even an aircraft to do it in.
Then it's the turn of those assess and issue; you see, it appears that the FOI in Darwin despite being type rated and 'locally' qualified were not acceptable. Nope, only the non type rated 'cat in a hat' from Adelaide could do this 'job' and get it done 'proper'. So, off we go again with the sums, return airfares AD-DN x 2; accommodation x 2, wages for 6 days (2 x 3), expenses, transport and incidentals. All up; a fairly hefty wallop, all charged back to the operator of course.
But they did indeed establish that Dilli is right where it should be; that the GPS could find the requisite 'dot' on the map; that the crew could indeed find said aerodrome, land, do the paperwork, find a fuel man and lunch and even (surprise, surprise) manage to find Darwin again.
Old mate reckons the highlight of the entire trip was the good sense shown (or luck) in avoiding Foreign Affairs department involvement; you see children, the FAD do remember the 'arresting' Chinese affair and the PNG meltdown; it was decided, despite the FOI insistence, that the operator should not to get on the next jet North and give the Indonesians a right royal bollocking for their allegedly (FOI opinion) PP radio procedures and lack of 'understandable English'; huge sighs of relief all around were heard. (Apart from our erstwhile FOI).
Alas, despite a good effort the crew 'failed'. Apparently there should have been a CP delegation North to insist on 'better' English, but not only that, the crew should have been properly supported and qualified, by attending 'strangely accented' English lessons (diploma and everything) before being sent 'international'. The fact that there was a forbidden bottle of water in a cup holder and the FO turned off two switches singularly, rather than 'together' has produced a storm of NCN and all manner of nasty paperwork; related to these and similar, monumental crimes.
True or not, it was a bloody good yarn, and it do beggar belief. But I can see it all, cartoon quality, Aussie FOI bollocking the crap out of the Indonesian General (full fig uniform and sidearm) our home grown civil service looking cool, holding the FOI jacket. Is our aviation industry in good, safe, sane hands?; 'course we are miniscule, just ask your advisors, they know.
Nah, couldn't happen - Toot toot.