I am aware of both worlds, being a freelancer in the cabin and a business development manager for a European inflight catering company. (feel free to mail me for a discount on your next order
).
In the caterers defence: not all crews are particularly skilled in the culinary field....or they are placing an order and barely master the English language.
As long as you place your order directly through the caterers website or companies like Delisky/Private Flight things will go fine most of the time, this is my personal experience.
Also have the order delivered by the caterer iso the handling company.
You can then physically go through your order with the caterer, this did save me a couple of times when (crucial) items were missing.