Danny finds some strange things in Geilenkirchen.
Like all owners of new, shiny cars, I found washing the 403 a pleasure (that soon wears off). At the bottom of Bruton St. in GK, there was a row of garages (but we didn't have one, the car stood at the kerb outside the house in all weathers). And on the end of the row was an outside tap - but you had to buy the hose and connection yourself.
The hose was no problem; I measured the threaded outside diameter of the tap with infinite care - call it "x" mm - and went into town to an ironmonger. There I produced my bit of paper with "x" mm on it, half expecting a "Four Candles" situation to develop, as this was soon after our arrival and my technical German rudimentary.
But the man in the dust coat cottoned-on at once: "Ah, drei-viertel zoll" ("three-quarter inch !") said he, turned round, picked the item off the shelf and laid it on the counter ("3/4 Inch", it said on the box). How on earth did they come to be using Imperial Measures ? How far did it go ? (don't know).
On another occasion, I bought a small gold watch, with a Milanese pattern gold lace band, for Mrs D. The strap was about 5mm too long for her slender wrist, we left it with the jeweller to be shortened, and collected it a few days later. It now fitted perfectly, but to my surprise they handed over the tiny scrap of removed gold, carefully wrapped in tissue paper.
"Vielen Dank", I said, "but this is no use to me - it may be to you - keep it". They were genuinely horrified. "One day", they said, "this may be the price of a meal for you - you must take it." We keep it still.
Most Sundays, we heard Mass in the Camp RC chapel, but on one occasion we went to a church in GK, only to find a procedure which might have dated back to the Middle Ages. The congregation was divided: men and boys in the pews on the left side of the aisle, women and girls on the right. This was "enforced" by a Beadle, in an imposing cloak of office, and with a staff with a very substantial wooden ball on top.
He patrolled up and down the aisle, silently separating mixed groups of shocked newcomers by gently indicating with his staff. I suppose if he met actual resistence, the massive ball on top could spell the message out more firmly and secure compliance, but we didn't see it used. I do not know how wide these "segregation" practices were: in most of the churches we visited, the congregation all packed together as at home.
The first harbingers of the liturgical changes introduced by Vatican II had appeared: The Credo and Paternoster, hitherto intoned in Latin by the celebrant alone, were now said in German by the whole congregation.
One of our officers, an "Other Denominations" (Methodist I think), was friendly with a Lutheran Pastor in town. His friend approached him one day, rather perplexed. He had found this in his Collection Plate: it was plainly sterling - but what was it ? Our chap recognised it at once, it was a £1 "BAF" (made a change from trouser buttons, anyway).
These were "British Armed Forces Currency" notes - last isued in '48, IIRC - and up till then used to pay our troops so that they could buy from the NAAFI; (it was all they were allowed to take) and pay Mess bills, etc. In this way German civilians couldn't clear the NAAFI of our duty-free cigarettes, then make huge future profits (by stacking up with small valuable goods like Zeiss binoculars and Leica cameras for future resale), as cigarettes were then the sole currency in a ruined Germany (the Reichmark being almost valueless).
Some crafty British worshipper had palmed this useless scrap of obsolete paper onto the Pastor: our officer, realising what had happened, for very shame, gave the Pastor Dm 10 in exchange for the BAF (I hope he kept it - now collectors pay good money on e-bay for them).
A Happy New Year to all my readers !
Danny42C.
There's nowt so queer as folk.
Last edited by Danny42C; 30th Dec 2013 at 00:51.
Reason: Rearrange Text.