I'm not sure from your OP if you mean you thought you wanted to fly professionally (for a living) or if you are talking about flying as a leisure activity. The two are VERY different.
I notice in life that activities that some people do for pay are activities that others pay to do. Folk are very odd it seems.
There are lots of cheap and exciting ways to fly for fun. But if you've lost the drive to fly professionally then I think you should be grateful that you've learnt that about yourself this early in life, and find another career path.