<<Mobile. 118 118, "Kirkwall airport or tower please, aye and put me right thru at your robber rates thanks". "Hi Kirkwall Tower G-xxxx here with knackered radio 5 miles to the SW be with ya in 5 minutes">>
I'm just trying to imagine how, as an ATCO, I would respond. Probably put the phone down and say something like: "Some kind of fruit cake" to a colleague.
Best advice, already given, is to talk to ATC - on the ground!