The risks in aviation are mitigable. You can in a way control and reduce the risks until they're as safe as commercial air travel. First of all, compared to driving, aviation doesn't depend as much on others. Meaning, that in traffic you can be ever so safe and yet be run into by some other numbnut. That risk is lower in aviation. So by not flying in bad weather, not skimping on maintenance, not running out of fuel, not doing aerobatics, not stalling, flying a reliable and slow landing plane, being well trained and current, etc, etc, you can bring the risk down to very low levels. To where it's just down to literally catastrophic mechanical failures. And I don't know what the statistics are for those, but I can tell you they're very rare.
As for anxiety, well I can tell you it goes away with experience. I used to have it, I used to get a knot in my stomach when I was driving to the airport. Took about 100hrs to get rid of. Having my own plane helped, too. I knew the maintenance and I knew what she could do. Today, I'm probably at my calmest when I fly, even calmer than sitting in traffic. Sure, there's the slight raise of blood pressure once in awhile when ATC traffic is heavy and you have multiple bogies to look out for, or when you're in really bad weather trying to get through, or when you have a mechanical malfunction. But no more than a tense scene in a thriller movie would give.
But ultimately, I fly a twin for just those reasons - to mitigate risk. I know the statistics, but for my own personal flying I don't feel safe flying singles over long stretches of water or over mountains, or night. So I put up with the extra cost of a twin to reduce this risk. It also depends on what you use the plane for. In my case it's for long cross country travel, and there I need to be able to cope with a lot of different environments. I can't always avoid mountains or water. But if you're just doing local flights to get the $100 hamburger, then all these things might be overkill and redundant.
Thank you Adam, I appreciate the advice