Tom,
Don't over look the fact that some of the more modern aircraft can do things that simply weren't possible by a previous generation, high alpha stuff in particular springs to mind. The pirouette in a F-18 is staggering (and in a Harrier or Sea Jet would be somewhere between impossible and a sure sign of well developed departure).
You might have to take my word for it, but despite the fact that none of the controls are working in the classic direct sense (jet knows what you mean and makes it so using whichever surface it thinks best) you in no way feel detached from it. It's quite a ride!