Itch,
You need to call in sick. You are so wound up and short of sleep (your own admission) that no-one, crew or passenger, should have to fly with you. Print out a copy of your post #59 and take it off to your GP and he/she will certainly book you off. (And as this is all after you have been formally notified that you risk losing your job that will not be a period of sickness that will be able to be held against you and still stand up in any tribunal.)
Now to all of you Flybe pilots who are complaining about losing your bases/jobs, etc., just think very carefully about all the other pilots out there who lost their bases/jobs because of Flybe undercutting their airlines and making their routes and bases unviable when they had got by quite happily for years before that. It's that undercutting that has made Flybe unviable and causing your problems, but you didn't complain about it at the time. (To make it worse, Flybe now pulling off any of those routes will be adding insult to injury for any of those pilots who lost out to Flybe's predatory but unsustainable past practices.)
To those of you who are 'gloating' from afar (having left the UK 21 years ago, etc.), just shut up and carry on playing in your sandpit (but watch out that the cats don't cover you up!); it must be very, very boring there if there is nothing else to do other than put 2,000+ posts on PPRuNe!!
Now back to if BALPA is fit for purpose. BALPA is an Association (that is in its name) and it does that very well. As a union? Well, often it could do better, but it's up to the members to get involved and stay involved in order to make that work. And when you do so, stop trying to hark back to old 'civil service' style work practices, the world just doesn't work that way any more; try to get your agreements and practices up to date and realise that the airline is in the business to do... well, business! Airlines are not socialist-style pilots' careers support systems. I bet that most of those complaining bitterly about BALPA have not done anything about being personally involved with the union up to now. There is a saying that generally countries get the government that they deserve (i.e. apathy from the population allows a government to become whatever it becomes) -- the same applies to your union. Did you get involved? If the answer is 'no', then you've got what you deserve. But if you do get involved, be realistic: idiots like McCluskey are living in lala-land!
For all of you who are being realistic, good luck for new jobs.