Ok, I wouldn't generally do this, but I feel compelled to do so.
Hangar - what I get from you is a sweeping generalisation based upon personal experience of FAA Officers. Without getting into a p**sing contest, I am a serving FAA Officer who has served at all of the establishments you mention and many more. I came from the ranks, some 23 years ago....and before you mention it, no, that has no bearing on whether I attend a leaving do or not. I would make every effort to attend either through a sense of duty or because I genuinely like the bloke, as I am sure most officers would.
Your scathing comments about the leadership, manners and approach of current executive officers at our 2 Air Stations mark you out as someone who has neither the intelligence or perspective to comment accurately. I know both COs very well, and trust me, there is absolutely no way either of them would have ignored this had they been invited. Which is of course the key point. Had they? Trust me, had they been invited and could not make it (this may come as a shock but they are quite busy), they would have at least sent their apologies.
So in essence, the answer to your question is no, they are not missing something, other than your mates leaving do.
And if you feel strongly about my response, do some digging, find out who I am then contact any current or past member of my division, squadron, or flight and ask them if I'm missing something. I look forward to your findings.