Loose:
I did the 8.1 upgrade strictly from Microsoft. Of course I first had to do 67 updates to my original 8.0 so that it would accept the 8.1.
Next I worked up the desktop to look like I wanted, with "my computer", "control panel", and icons for my common programs.
Then I fixed it so that the machine loads directly to the desktop, not to the start menu. And I made it stop requiring a password. I found both those fixes by googling, but I'll look again if you wish.
I actually like the touch screen, and the "apps" page might be better than the old "my programs". The rest of the Win8 stuff is just foolish kidstuff to me.