SASless,
Unfortunately, the military is one area where I have very little experience, so I would be out of line if I made any comments regarding those programs.
On the commercial side, however, I have been involved in the development of simulators for new rotary wing types/variants, and I found the process lacking. Sims have always been an afterthought to the OEMs, and we were always 4th or 5th fiddle when it came to being heard and taken care of.
I see signs of this changing (at least on the rotary wing side of things), but OEMs move slowly.
HC has it right. If safety was the top concern of the OEMs and OEM suppliers, then OEMs/suppliers would make the information available. It's not, so they don't (or at least that's how it appears to be with a majority of the OEMs).
Some OEMs are friendlier than others (I'll avoid any names in order to protect my skin), and I think those friendlier OEMs have people in place that are legitimately trying to help make the best training devices they can, but money is king and those people don't control the money.