homesick angel
I think it is important to know that others have suffered similar events and that you are not the only person who feels the pain, if not agony. As many have said, individual responses are different. I have been quite distressed over several friends' deaths, and that was only hearing about them, not seeing it happen.
Good luck/management with professional help. I think getting it out of the system and letting it go when you are ready works. Elizabeth Kubler Ross has written a few books about the five stages of dealing with death. It may help.
You may well be shown relaxation and emotional distancing/separation techniques.
I wish you well.