Hot fuelling is not a recipe for disaster. Performed correctly it is quite safe.
Well ... not safe enough IMHO. Safer with a turbine engine mounted high on the airframe with the fuel filler low on the airframe. A disaster waiting to happen with a gasoline powered engine mounted low in the airframe. As a matter of policy, I wont do it ... period. Every choice involves tradeoffs.
it could happen to any of us....that is the key point to remember
No question. It is also important to remember that risk can be managed within limits. Humans have the capacity to make choices which reduce risk if they so choose. Time urgency (IOW, being in a hurry) is a key factor in a great many accidents in and out of the aviation world. I am often amazed by the choices people make to save a few seconds or minutes. No one is immune to this but some manage it more successfully than others. A key part of the risk management process is explicitly acknowledging, "This could happen to me on my next flight."