So you have a FAA pilot certificate and want an instrument rating, or a CAA/EASA licence and want a IMCr/IR(R)? The latter you can get via a simple (at a cost) paperwork exercise if you have the former.
There's nothing wrong with having a phobia of flying into weather that you can't handle, and at least you're honest with your assessment of your current skill level. The technical aspects you would probably pick up with a bit of groundschool (just having someone explain it to you in a different way might help), and the flying aspect just involves flying accurately to a point where you still have spare mental capacity to do all the other stuff - something that takes practice and I'm sure you'll pick up eventually. If it's taking every ounce of your skill to only just fly accurately, then it just comes down to you needing practice, and the guidance of a good instructor to analyse if/where you're going wrong.
Think back to when you learned to fly... It was all taught in baby steps, and now you have a licence. Surely you didn't just teach yourself, and go it alone. Same thing goes with the instrument stuff. Even though it is essentially just "flying" in another form, it does need some thought and quality tuition to give yourself a fighting chance of learning and understanding it all.
I'd say rather than accept the "here's the deal, I essentially want an easy ride and to not have to put too much work into getting an instrument ticket yadda yadda..." philosophy just because you screwed up a few written test questions, be tough on yourself, find a good school/instructor and work hard to get your rating.
I failed my FAA instrument written first time round, but now I'm a CFII. Go figure. So don't give up, and don't accept anything less than that end result of being rated.