book speed is important but + a few knots is not the end of the world,
It's true, but the extra few knots is not the touchdown zone either.
A lot of people learning to fly are wanting to be airline pilots, and hence want to adopt more of an airline pilot style to flying an SEP. Big runways and PAPIs also encourage this, as do certain instructors. Equally, the natural urge for caution tends to see a few knots added.
If pilots are being taught "airline style" (whatever that is) for flying a GA aircraft, there is a problem - perhaps with the training, or the epaulettes image which perpetuates this Walter Mitty thinking.
If you're flying an airliner, you'll be expected to fly the prescribed bug speeds on approach, and you're probably not being expected to land it with grace, just get it down and to the gate on time.
The flight manual speeds for any aircraft have at least a 5 knot margin of safety built in. So just follow the stated speeds. If the winds are so unstable that you cannot manage the book speed, you should be looking to land elsewhere, or at least not posting those concerns here.
I see too many pilots gliding for landing at too slow a speed, and approaching at too fast a speed. Yes, you can glide slowly as stated in the Flight Manual, and make the best glide distance, if you need to. No, you cannot "land" too fast, though you might fly the aircraft into contact with the ground. If you do, it'll be messy once you are in contact with the ground.
Any aircraft will land if you slow it below flying speed while slightly above above a suitable surface, at very near parallel to the surface. That's why a pipping stall warning at touchdown is likely an indicator of a nice landing. Attempting a landing from higher at less than flying speed, or a less acute angle, is going to make a bump, and contacting the ground in most planes at much faster than flying speed, no matter what the angle, is the approach to a bucking bronco ride.
On the other hand, the effort to get to "gliding speed" right away upon an engine failure is honourable, if you're trying to make it to the shore, or clear area beyond the trees, but otherwise is leading the pilot to have to make a very precise flare, with only one change to get it perfect. This IS where carrying the extra speed is good, if you do not need to glide too far. You'll have much better precision and safety if you're gliding at +10 to 5 knots, with the full intention to slip it off to the proper speed, crossing the fence.
A properly trained and practiced pilot can gently land a C172 or PA 28 with equal ease, because they are both easy planes to land gently. It's fair that any pilot have the opportunity to learn and then practice, but no fair blaming the plane during that process.
I go from type to type, usually without checkouts. If I can not make a presentable landing the first time, even in a completely new to me type, I'll probably go around, and do it again. A sloppy landing would have been my fault, and I owe it to the plane to do better, let alone my own sense of pride!