Cpt Dick
Whatever you do don't give up!!! I'm 23 self employed and earlier this year was £30K in debt and my business looked as if it was screwed. It looked that I would not be able to fly for a long time but with hard work and determination I have turned things around and I am doing my PPL right now.
If its inspiration you are after there was a post on here by Pilot Pete about 2-3 weeks back. It was probably the best post on PPRUNE i'd read.
As for practical solutions to your problems I'm sure others are better placed to comment but from what you say I would think about the following options:
Why not do a distance learning ATPL course eg the Oxford one. You can do it in your own time and still earn money.
secondly have you considered the KLM-UK part sponsorship in conjunction with Cabair? They have just changed the website and the details don't appear very clear - but from memory I think the deal is as follows:
You need to have a total of 150 hours including a night rating and possibly an IMC rating as well. You are required to pay £8000 up front and they train you for a frozen ATPL. They then give you an instructors rating and you instruct PPLs at Cabair for a period of time then they give you an Mulit IR and MCC. Then supposedly you end up in the RHS of a KLM-UK turboprop.
From what I gather the down side is that Cabair screw you for every penny of the £8K but the upside is it provides structure and a very good chance of getting an airline job on qualifying.
Re. Your parents, I know its tough but you simply have to stay focused. Easier said than done I grant you but what other options do you have.
Re. Your girlfriend, If she loves you she will put up with a few tough years. If she only loves you once you have several stripes on your shoulder and a few quid in your pocket she's not worth ****!!
Hope this helps!!!
Speedbird59