I'm sure I've told this before but I'll do it again:
Lossie, mid 80's, line hut of a Bucc squadron gets bombed during an air raid. Taceval team came in and told us we were all casualties and handed out chits with supposed injuries. Our resident jolly japester went around everyone else looing at their chits, till he found one that said he had head injuries and other minor stuff which he immediately confiscated. Some frantic running around, and three minutes later he had the contents of a cold hot loc lunch in a small plastic bag, mixed with a cup of cold tea, and all mashed together to a sludgy consistency. The neck of this bag is firmly grasped in one hand, and concealed down the collar of his NBC suit so that it looks as if he is holding his colar bone.
Anyway, the all clear goes and we arrange ourselves around the "bombed" line hut and started practising our injured moans. After a couple of minutes a couple of guys from the hangar burst in the door, obviously responding to the inject. They started going round checking the chits to see which casualty to deal with first, and one came to the japester. "What's wrong with you mate" he says reaching across the prone body for the chit. At this point the japester rolled over, made a convincing retching noise, and simultaneously squeezed the bag whilst release the neck. The contents of bag made a very realistic projective vomit over the floor and boots of the rescuer, who jumped back screaming something like "You dirty barsteward...I'm not rescueing you!"
Same sqn a couple of years later. The jets are all away in foreign climes and the rear party are in the process of shipping everything that was left from the hangar to the new HAS site. One day it was announced that the Queen Mummy was flying out that afternoon from our pan, so we were all to stay out of sight until she had gone. She duly drives up, gets in the QF jet, and flies off. At this point we were told "right, no more for today, see you in the morning" so all the singlies legged it off to the mess for tea. We'd just got there when the hooter went off (they had obviously been waiting for the royal visitor to get far enough away). So back to the hangar we went, got changed and assembled in the crew room as we didnt have any jets to generate. After helf an hour the WO walks in, and announces that we will not be taking part in the exercise but it would not be prudent to go back to the block because we'll end up getting dragged into something or other. He then turned to the tea bar mechanic and asked how much of the tea bar had been packed up for the move. A brief description was given of the food and sweetie stocks, followed by "... and there is still a couple of barrels left from the last beer call". "Right" said the WO, "lock all the doors and crack open the first barrel". From then until Endex we sat in a darkened crew room drinking beer while the rest of the station was playing at war, although we did get a compliant about trying to subvert a passing patrol by opening the crew room window and offering them pints of beer if they defected.