Love a good nonsense post like this, really brightens a bad weather day
One of the flying school owners I worked for loved a client like this, he would play along, and try to convince them to buy a seneca or similar knowing when it all went wrong and they couldn't afford to maintain it he could lease it off them cheap. Never quite worked out, but it was fun until they quit.
Students with dreams like this before they even began their PPL never seemed to make it past stalling, no matter how much effort you put in as an FI. Perhaps things are different over in America where it sounds like everyone has a licence.